I can empathize with what you are going through

As a Partner: Direct and clear communication coupled with showing up authentically are central to me and my husband’s relationship. But these things are learned. My parents always cited couple’s therapy for their united front and good communication. I am glad to have learned those lessons from them. And I hope your family (found, made, or born), will tell stories of what you learned through our work together and how it drew you back together. 

With Life Transitions as a Queer Therapist: I had my own journey to self discovery. Coming out can be a leap of faith either daily or especially with those we hold most dear. I know the fear of risking other’s judgement. I know our continuation of subverting gender roles and complicating stereotypes risks blowback. But I also know that building a life & love on a foundation of authenticity is way better than trying to build on the shifting hues of a social chameleon. 

With Trauma: I've said “never again.” I’ve built up those walls and engraved those ramparts into patterns in my psyche. In some ways that can be a source of strength and it can also be a source of rigidity. These rigid patterns can lock us into only seeing the negative in others but as we separate the past from our present we can approach our relationships with more curiosity, confidence, and desire. 

because I have been there.